Follow @bootymonarch Protect Lil B
sofapizza:

sturmtruppen:

the person pretended to be a goat so the goat pretended to be a person

"look here you dumbshit did you forget how to two-leg"
metrobussy:

wake up america

tawnks:

blastortoise:

blastortoise:

My dick is pi inches long

This is fucking me up a bit because like that means my dick is not bigger than 3 inches but yet it’s infinite like wtf

no it just means your dick is irrational and people hate it

hobbitofthemotherfuckinshire:

This could bee us but you playin

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

fuuck your bedtime mom. its probably like 5 am in china right now. time is a human construction that doesnt even exisgt. if u reject time you can transcend it. please i want to play halo

superchalmers:

fanfictionaddict13:

cyclopette:

superchalmers:

superchalmers:

why did egyptians shave their heads regularly

to be more pharohdynamic

image

image

actually it was because they didn’t want to get ticks and fleas because you know “i’m royal and an itchy scalp and diseases are beneath me” was a thing, even the woman did it they all just wore wigs

no it was to be more pharohdynamic 

shutupvevo:

"everything that kills me makes me feel alive"

image

awwww-cute:

Apparently I’m buying lunch today

I turned 19 2 days ago lmao

Okay I had a sex dream about you but I woke up before you could put it in. I'm not kidding this is not a joke. I'm a virgin and I'm very confused. But hey, from what I've experienced, you're a really great kisser!
Anonymous

What u r leaving me with more questions than answers